Hiding in Plain Sight
by XX-Samantha-XX
Summary: So how is Casey really coping with the aftermath of what happened to Hallie and after the prison fire...here's a little look into what could be going on behind that front of him being 'fine'. Maybe angsty and spoilerish if you have seen eps 21-24 Enjoy!


_Okay, so Lucy, my muse loves to write introspective Casey at the moment so i hope you all don't mind the tag to the finale and OMG what a finale...my muse has plenty to work with now...not that she didn't before...i mean its always drama with casey the poor thing nothing seems to go right for him...anyway i still don't own this lovely programme or the people in it however much i want to lol _

_This kind of follows on from my other one called 'Unwanted Reality' but it can also stand alone. Anyway enjoy and please lemme know what you think !_

_oh and thank you to Callisto-HK for giving this a read you're awesome!_

**Hiding in Plain Sight**

He really thought that he'd been doing better.

He'd even managed to wake up without the feeling that she was still there, making him think that everything that had happened, hadn't and was just a dream.

He supposed that that was what made him think that nothing made sense anymore.

But then if he was honest with himself, looking around his house that was usually spotless, and thinking about the day they had just all had.

He was just getting better at hiding it.

At work he was 'fine', he could function, could work and do his job the only way he knew how, which was to the best of his ability.

He might have taken a few risks, even offered himself up as a hostage sure but, everyone in his team had gotten out safely at the end of the day.

And that's all that mattered.

He would have happily swapped with Hermann at any point, Hermann had a family that needed him to come home safe.

All that was waiting for Matt Casey was an empty, untidy house that even though she hadn't technically lived there, managed to remind him of everything he had lost.

Some people might have called his actions reckless at best an suicidal at worst.

But he wasn't, well, not really anyway. It was just at that point Hermann's life was worth more than his and he just wanted to stop hurting.

Oh he knew that Hallie would be kicking his butt right now if she saw him like this, and saw all the fast food wrappers strewn across his floor. She'd been telling him to eat better but it didn't help that every time he went to cook something it reminded him of her saying that so he just couldn't face it and fell back into old patterns.

He knew himself, that it was unhealthy and that even with all the wrappers around, that he wasn't really eating that much and losing weight that he didn't need to.

And he knew people at the firehouse were keeping a close eye on him, that had been proven this morning with Shay and Cruz.

He knew that they'd not believed him when he'd given his typical response of 'I'm fine, really'

But he hadn't meant to make them stop talking about whatever it was they were talking about.

He probably shouldn't feel guilty about that one but in some way he thought it was his fault as well

He wasn't being the leader they needed him to be, if they were distracted by watching out for him then that could be dangerous.

And it would be his fault.

And he wouldn't be the reason that someone else died, not like Andy.

Not like him leaving his key on the counter top and opening up the chances for his mother to do what she had done.

It had been the wrong time to have a fire in, of all places a prison, not when he hadn't heard anything from his mother for a while. He placed his head in his hand and tried to ward away the headache that was starting behind his eyes.

Everything was just going straight to hell and in very nice hand basket.

Mills had walked off in the hospital and hadn't been seen since talking to the chief, later he'd found out that the kid hadn't made squad.

Mills and Dawson seemed to have broke things off.

Had overheard Shay and Severide talking about the failed fertility treatment.

And there had been the issue of baby Hermann having breathing difficulties to start with.

And he hadn't really been there for anyone.

What kind of person did that make him then, he just felt so...he didn't really know the word for it.

Disconnected was the closet. He wanted to be happy at the birth of the baby and had shown just that but that had been hard.

Especially when it reminded him of Hallie.

Everything he did happened to do that.

Thats what made this so hard.

She had been a part of his life for so long now that she knew everyone else and had a part in every aspect of his life.

At least when she was in another country he could have called her...but now.

He was just alone, sitting in an empty house, with only pictures and memories to remember her by. The void her loss had made was so dark and encompassing, that he didn't know when he would be able to escape, or even if he could.

So while he had managed to wake up each day and go out to work.

There was still a long way to go yet.

Maybe, he should take up the offers from his friends to keep himself distracted.

And away from the empty and untidy house.

**End**

_Okay so thats it for this one hope you liked it. _


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